Understanding

The hyperbaric therapy continued and was only interrupted on the Thanksgiving Day. The wound care doctor surgically debrided the wound gently on Tuesday. The wound still hurts, particularly when the dressing is being changed. Side-effects from the chemo remain mostly tolerable.  We had a precious family get-together weekend and a wonderful Thanksgiving meal, but now the kids are back to the school.

Love echoes in eternity loudly!

I want to thank God for the love aroused by my suffering and the acts of love to which it leads performed by those around me such as my wife, my children, my younger brother and sister-in-law, my mom, my brothers/sisters in Christ, my friends, my colleagues, my students and my doctors and nurses.

I am thankful not only because I have needed and enjoyed the abundant love that I don’t deserve, but also because love echoes in eternity loudly.  

i. Love will last forever. 1 Corinthians 13:8 (NLT) Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will all disappear.  
One day, I was having lunch with my wife who said, “I work so hard to nurse you.  I would be angry with God if you still die from this illness.” I was sad and had tears in my eyes for a few seconds, and this verse came to my mind.  I responded, “Even if that happens, your love and ability to love would not be in vain because love will last forever into eternity.”

ii. If we love one another, then the eternal God lives in us. 1 John 4:12 (NIV) No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
- Personally, the sight of God among us is of great comfort for somebody who is suffering.  
- For our community of faith, what a privilege and honor to have the all-mighty and glorious God amongst us! This is the most powerful means to witness our God and spread the gospel to this world!

May this find you and your loved ones in good spirit and health.

I went through three sessions of hyperbaric therapy without incident.  The doctor said the effect won’t be seen for at least another three weeks.  I also pointed out something I had suspected to be an under-skin abscess next to the wound site. The doctor confirmed my suspicion and made an incision to clean it up as I expected.  It has been there for weeks and I finally did the right thing because I knew it would only get worse.  The wound therefore hurts more than before particularly when the abscess is being packed.  (Pain is actually a good sign because it means the surrounding tissue is not dead.) Side-effects from the chemo are tolerable most of the time.  My blood counts are OK except the platelets, which are  a little low.

Why be thankful?

There are many reasons and three of them are given below.

1. Give credit where credit is due.  James 1:17 (NIV) Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 2 Pe. 1:3 (NIV) His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

2. The ability to recognize His gifts and grace and give thanks enables us to have the right relationship with God. 1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.  God takes the initiative to love us and seek us out; we won’t respond to God’s love with love unless we recognize and treasure His love.

3. The ability to recognize His gifts and grace and give thanks enables us to have the right relationship with others. 1 John 4:11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. If we see how much God loves each and every one of us, it will be easier for us to love one another.

Wish you a happy Thanksgiving and may this find you and your loved ones in good spirit and health.

The enzyme debridement has revealed a previously unseen large tunnel next to the wound.  Had it not been discovered and hence cared for properly, it would have been a big problem later.  On one hand, I am glad to find the truth about the wound.  On the other, I am unhappy about how challenging it has become.  The hyperbaric therapy beginning next week has become even more critical now.  Side-effects from the chemo are manageable most of the time, and I will see the oncologist Monday for a checkup and blood counts.  Don’t be alarmed if my sharing is briefer for the next few weeks.  It is not because I am getting weak.  It is because I have a few important assignments.

God: Are you there?

Some have said to me, “You are steadfast in your faith.”  Well, I am not so sure about that myself.  

I have been disappointed by the apparent lack of God’s major intervention through setback after setback. Now I not only have cancer but also a sizable open wound which gives me constant pain and puts me in constant danger of contracting a potentially life-threatening infection. I prayed and prayed (as many of you have on my behalf), but nobody seems to be answering. I knocked and knocked, but nobody seems to be at home.  The apparent silence is both frustrating and discouraging.  At times, my patience wears thin and my spirit gets low.  Sometimes, I want to rebel against all the medicines I take because I can no longer stand the way the drugs make me feel.  After all, renouncing pills is, more often than not, seen as the right, pure and wholesome thing to do in our time.  I am on a virtually salt-less (often tasteless for somebody who has nausea and limited appetite) diet to keep my leg and foot edema under control, and a low fat diet to minimize the burden to my digestive track damaged by the chemo.  I gave up chocolate, coffee, ice-cream, cheese, donuts, pizzas, my favorite pasta dishes, and much more.  I am still getting used to it, while exploring my capacity for self-denial and obsessing over what foods I could eat, how and when.  I used to be able to run 3 miles in 25 minutes everyday and I can no longer run at all.

However, as much as I can’t deny the existence of the sun just because I have been surrounded by the darkness of the night, I can’t deny the existence of God and His love.  It is so evident when I look at the universe and all the creatures and count the days and the blessings in them that I have been given.  Additionally, just because I can’t seem to see God in complete darkness doesn’t mean God can’t see me either.

That gives me hope.  As long as God keeps me afloat, there is always hope for being rescued.  Should the rescue never come, though, I hope I will persevere to the end, like St. Paul, to say that I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith and may all the glory go to God.

May this find you and your loved ones in good spirit and health.

We visited a wound care center this week. While he approved of the current way we are dressing the wound, the doctor said that none of it will make a big difference in terms of healing the wound because of the radiation damaged tissues.  He is therefore recommending hyperbaric therapy to help the damaged tissue to repair itself from inside out. This will allow the wound and its surrounding tissue to heal, supporting whatever surgical procedure may be needed later.  While there is no guarantee, I found many positive reports about the therapy’s effectiveness on the internet. It has been a crazy and blessed week.  In five days, I have met a doctor who has pointed me to a therapy that might be just what I need, was cleared by my oncologist, my surgeon, and most importantly, a pulmonary specialist, plus the insurance company with the help of many (acquainted and strangers alike). Needless to say, we are very thankful to God.  Regarding the chemo, no critical side-effects have developed yet.  However, it has become a nuisance to deal with my hyper sensitive digestive track which gives me what seems to be random diarrhea after meals. Not being able to hold the food in all the time is particularly frustrating because I need to maintain my weight.  All I can do is eat again after an unplanned restroom stop and be careful about what I eat.

Fly in formation

Migrant birds have been flying south in formation for weeks now.  I would like to highlight a couple of the facts about these formations.

First, when birds fly in formation, they fly faster and farther than flying alone. While there is no precise number, the estimate is that  they are capable of flying about 50% farther. (In 2004, NASA estimated  that 8 airplanes flying in a formation similar to the geese’s would save up to 20% of the normally utilized fuel.) Blue geese were tracked while migrating from Canada to Louisiana.  They made the 1,700 mile journey in 60 hours, averaging 30 miles per hour.  A single goose can not do this.  There is a psychological element in that.  Company always make the long, tough journey easier.  However, God also  created the physics that favors flying in formation.   

Birds can fly because  of a specific wing shape;  when the wings move in air, the air pressure under the wing is greater than the pressure above. At the tip of the wing, the air pressure difference naturally makes the air flow from below the wing and out around the tip to the top of the wing in a circular fashion. This creates the so-called wing tip vortex which stays behind as the bird moves on. If another bird places itself on top of this uplifting air flow, it reduces the workload. The birds fly in formation so that each bird takes advantage of the uplifting force from the bird in front of it. Everybody thus flies easier than if they were flying alone, all except for the leading one.  

This holds up a wonderful truth for any community, and especially the church.   We all need each other more than we realize or we acknowledge. We really do fly faster and farther, and we are more capable of getting to where we are headed… when we are in formation with others.  We can accomplish far more together than the sum total of our individual efforts.

The other important lesson stems from the fact that the geese share leadership.  I used to think when I saw geese in their formation that the leader was the strongest and the smartest one in the whole group.  After all, that is the most demanding position.   Wrong. Biologists now know that geese share leadership.  When the lead goose gets tired, it just falls back into the wing of the formation and another goose flies up to take its place.  Sharing the lead is crucial in all communities; one person just cannot provide all the leadership.  

May this find you and your loved ones in good spirit and health.